Faith: When the Invisible Becomes Visible-Part Two

In Part One, we looked at how uncertain life can be when we have feelings that go all over the place and we don’t have a solid foundation to live by.  We looked at how faith is the foundation we need and what God has to say about faith. Hebrews 11:1 tells us that, though faith may be invisible, when we know God, who is the object of our faith, our foundation can be as strong and visible as a sturdy chair.  As we get to know God, through His son, Jesus Christ, we may find His true character to be quite different than what we were taught growing up. We noted that, since knowing Him is the key to trusting Him (our foundation of faith), it is imperative that we get to know Him well. Then we will find it easier to trust Him.

 There is a simple test we can use to help us understand how well we know God.  If walking by faith means “saying or standing on what God says – no matter what,” we can quickly determine how well we know Him by how well we are trusting.  If we know Him, we will trust.  If we are not trusting (in a given area), then we don’t know Him well enough there in that area.  Learning to trust our invisible foundation is easier in some areas than others.  In the difficult areas we will need help and support from others who do know Him there. In my journey, finances were one of the areas in which I had to learn to trust God.

When I was rearing my family (four kids), my husband and I lived by faith financially as we worked in full-time ministry. This meant that our monthly income was in that invisible realm. Instead of a paycheck, our income was based on what we received from supporters, and most of the time through the years our income was rather limited. Not having a steady income forced and encouraged me to trust God when we had visible needs such as milk, clothes or repairs. 

Early in this adventure of turning the invisible to visible, God provided a car, as a gift from a friend. My husband was driving the car when a young teenager plowed into the back of it.  The car was drivable but considered totaled by the insurance companies.  The insurance company gave us the choice of keeping the car with a settlement of $800 or we could give up the car for a settlement of $900.  We kept and drove the car for several more months before passing it on to another family who drove it for years. A totaled car became a visible blessing in God’s hands.

During those years that stretched my faith, the invisible became visible over and over as God provided groceries, clothing, ministry trips, appliances for our house, a roof, a remodeled basement, two more free cars and money for kids’ braces and college. (You can read more about God’s faithfulness in my book, Jesus Never Fails.) Though it was very difficult at times to believe that “Faith is substance,” going through it taught me to know God, and now I am able to encourage others in how loving, caring and trustworthy He is.

 Though life is full of uncertainty, there is one foundation upon which we can rely: “Jesus is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” 

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Faith: When the Invisible Becomes Visible – Part One

In our world, we catch our breaths at a glimpse of something beautiful one second and the next moment we find our hearts racing with anticipation and impending horror as the unthinkable unfolds before our eyes. With one breath, we provide hope and encouragement in someone’s struggle to make a good choice, and with our very next breath, find ourselves awash with sadness as we see the devastating effects of a choice gone very wrong.  Our faith in humankind soars as we watch someone keep a promise, yet we become heartbroken over a promise forgotten.  We search the faces of those around us, looking for “something special,” often finding mere traces of hope–or lots of despair.

Contrasting feelings such as these bring us to ask ourselves deep questions:  “How can I achieve stability in my life, especially when I don’t know what will happen next? How can I find rest, when so many opposing feelings stay stirred up inside my heart?  Where is God in all this unrest?”  As I began my own personal journey with Jesus Christ many years ago, questions like these kept running around inside my head.  There was some comfort in the familiar of what I could see, touch, examine, and know, but this constant uncertainty of what might happen next really did not offer solid ground for day-to-day living. 

 As I grew in knowing God and the Scriptures, Hebrews 11:1 was a big help.  It says there, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  Part of what I was looking for could be found by going backwards in the verse. Though I couldn’t see it, or touch it–the foundation I needed for a steady heart was invisible. The foundation was based on faith, and for this foundation to become firm, I needed to understand something more about faith and what it means to trust God.              

But just what is faith? Getting down to the nitty gritty of what faith is all about can be tricky.  People often confuse “faith” with “religion.” “What faith are you?” they ask.  When it’s used that way, faith is a noun. But the kind of faith we want to talk about is  a verb – faith in its action form.  The Bible, further down in Hebrews 11, tells us “without faith it is impossible to please Him (meaning God).”  Additionally, Romans 14:23b makes it pretty black and white: “whatever is not of faith is sin.”  These verses impacted my definition of faith so that I began to realize that faith is “believing whatever God says about something–and whatever means whatever.” What I see, touch, hear or feel cannot determine my foundation. And if that is true, in order to walk out my faith, it becomes very important to know what God says–and then to stand on what He says no matter what.

As I worked through these verses and “faith being substance and evidence,” it became clear that the most important aspect of faith is about the object of our faith.  For instance, if I walk into a room and have a choice to sit down in a broken, dilapidated old chair or one that looks pretty sturdy, which one do you think I will choose?  The evidence I can see points to the fact that I can better trust the sturdy looking chair to hold me up.  Likewise, the object of our faith must be capable and worthy of trust if we are going to put our faith in action.  It is impossible to trust something (or someone) we do not know.  Getting to know the object of our faith (God), directly impacts our ability to walk out our faith.  How well we know Him determines how well we will be able to trust Him. Hebrews 11:1  is telling us that He is as trustworthy as something we can actually see—and when we know Him, we will trust Him.

Having a solid faith foundation starts with knowing who God is and what He is truly like.  Sometimes our view of Him gets distorted by wrong teaching, dysfunctional parents or ignorance. We begin to get to know Him when we spend time with Him in prayer, reading the Bible (especially the Psalms) and exploring books and relationships with others who truly know Him.  As we get to know Him, we find that He is most loving, kind, accepting and forgiving and not legalistic, impatient or wrathful.  That’s easy to say and hear, but we have to know it for ourselves before we can trust Him as we would a sturdy chair.

Do you know God well enough to trust Him as you would a sturdy chair you can see? Do you know He wants to hold you in His lap as safely as you are in a sturdy chair?.  Do you know how much He loves you?

In Part 2 we will look at some practical examples of how trustworthy He is.

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Joyful Musings on Thoughts We Have

Often when I am counseling someone I encounter the issue of hearing God’s voice.  I find that many are not certain that they are hearing God and are afraid to trust what goes through their mind–even when it sounds wonderful. Sometimes I find people who are trusting thoughts that they should not trust—lies from their past, lies from Satan, “old tapes” that have always been part of their thoughts. 

In the 1980’s I found some help with these questions about our thoughts through the ministry of Bill and Anabel Gillham. Both of them are now in Heaven with Jesus, but their work continues at www.lifetime.org  Bill taught that Satan can speak to us (in our minds) in “First Person Singular—I.” This was a huge insight for me. When Satan speaks in first person singular, we believe it is our thought and thus take it as being true about us.  It is a very devious trick. 

“I can’t do anything right!”  “I am so stupid.” “I always mess up.”  “Nobody wants to be with me.” “I am alone.” These are a just a few of those kinds of first person singular thoughts that the enemy uses to keep us in bondage and defeat.  Satan’s voice in our head correlates perfectly with events from our past, with just enough of “his truth” there to make us believe his lies.

As I pondered Bill’s idea about this tricky deception that helped me gain freedom in my own life, I desired to pass it on to others.  I came up with a list of ways to help us determine if the voice (our thoughts) we are hearing in our head is a lie from Satan or something from God. God sometimes speaks in first person singular, too. 

So, you might ask, “What about MY thoughts?”  For this list, because I call it Two Voices, I put our thoughts on the side with God when they are thoughts that fit His character and/or how He sees us in Christ.  If not, they go on Satan’s side.  This makes it easier to determine, spot and reject Satan’s lies.

Here is the lesson on Two Voices:

 TWO VOICES

God and Satan can speak to us (in our minds) in “First Person Singular—I.”  When Satan speaks in first person singular, we believe it is our thought and thus take it as being true about us. His thoughts are like the flesh and/or the world.  God’s words, on the other hand,  fit His character.  It helps to know that our thoughts can be put into two categories, God’s or Satan’s.  Yes, we have thoughts, but these can still be distinguished by what those thoughts are like.  It helps us learn God’s voice if we believe that thoughts that are like Him are from Him. Satan does not want us to recognize when he is giving us thoughts that are lies. As we learn God’s voice, it becomes easier to speak conversationally, back and forth, and believe it is He because it would be like Him to say those things we are hearing in our mind.

 

SATAN’S VOICE:                                                                     GOD’S VOICE

Condemns                                                                                         Convicts

Performance Based Acceptance                                Jesus Based Acceptance

Lies                                                                                                   Truth

Loud                                                                                         Soft (1 Kings 19:11-12)

Selfish                                                                                          Unconditional love

Discouraging                                                                                   Encouraging     

Worry, Doubts                                                                               Trust Me

Fear                                                                                                  Faith and Love

Presses Down                                                                                 Lifts up

Death Giving                                                                                  Life Giving

Dark                                                                                                Light

Sin Conscious                                                                   Righteousness Conscious

 

Certainly there are other things we could come up with, but this list can get us started on recognizing and rejecting lies from the enemy.  Here is an additional, brief part of a lesson from Anabel on how to “analyze the thoughts that invade our thinking processes:  A. This is a condemning thought. B. This thought attacks my character. C. This thought accuses me. D. This thought confuses me. E. This thought is designed to destroy me. F. This thought is not true.”

Anabel also recommends adding “In Jesus’ name” to any thought to see if it fits with God’s voice or the devil’s.  For her complete article check www.lifetime.org

As I have grown through the years in knowing God’s voice and knowing from the Scripture what He is like, it has become easier and easier to have “conversations” with Him–as I speak of in some of my other blogs. I had almost forgotten this old lesson on the Two Voices until it came up twice in one week.  I trust it will help you find some freedom, as it has me these many years, as you learn to put up your hand like a traffic cop and say, “Stop!  That thought is not God’s or mine,” when the thought fits Satan’s voice. And as you get to know what God is like, His voice will be easier to hear.

       “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”  James 4:7

   “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”         John 8:32

 

 

 

 

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An Audience of One

Last week I had the honor of being asked to call in to a Christian radio talk show out in California. Dr. Wilder was being interviewed and he wanted some of us who know the Life Model and Immanuel Process to be callers.  It was a real adventure for me as I sat on hold for an hour listening to the interview and trying not to worry, while praying, about what I was going to say.  My 90 seconds on the air went by quickly and it was very exciting, but after I hung up, my emotions were the kind that tell me there is something here I need to take to Jesus.  I was feeling insecure and afraid that I had not done “a good enough job and maybe embarrased Dr. Wilder.” 

A little later I got out my journal and started talking to Jesus, asking Him, “What do you want me to know about these feelings I had that I might have embarrassed Dr. Wilder?  What made those feelings so big?  What are they triggering from my past?”

As I sat quietly with Jesus, He brought to mind a memory of a time in high school when I was in a contest and had stage fright while doing a short monologue.  I wasn’t devastated by this event, but since that’s what He brought to mind, I looked at it and asked Him, “Where were You when that was going on?”  He told me, “I was behind the curtain smiling at your bravery to even try. It was not in your comfort zone. You handled it pretty well.”

So I sat with Him for a few more minutes, sensing that was not the deepest issue–then I asked, “What do I need to know about why I feel such a need for Dr. Wilder to say I did a good job?”

This time, Jesus reminded me of how many times I had done things both publicly and as ministry for others and received no appreciation, not even any feedback.  I remembered that this topic had come up years ago when I was counseling with Dr. Wilder.  At that time, he told me that I believed it was bad or prideful to want appreciation and affirmation.  He then explained that wanting that is not bad or prideful, it is a legitimate need that we all have.  When that need is not met, it hurts. I accepted that and remembered it over the years, but since it was coming back up,  I guessed Jesus wanted to take me further with it.

As I continued in His presence, this is part of what He said: 

“’A workman is worthy of his hire.’ I love you. You bring me joy all the time—just being you. I don’t see your lacks-I see your heart and how you long for others to know this Life Model and Immanuel Process and all that you have learned.  And even if JW (Dr. Wilder) says you were “off” or that you embarrassed him, that would not change who you are to Me or your value to Me.

 Just look at Me and see how I love you. I was right there in all those things you listed from the past, smiling with delight at your courage or creativity—your heart that just wants to “teach” and help others. Know that I say, “You did a great job. You are you and I can use you as you are. I used a donkey and can even make rocks cry out if I need them to. Bloom where you are planted. (smiling at me)”

Peace came to my soul as He spoke. And, yes, I know He is our audience of one and we are to focus on Him. But isn’t it wonderful how He wants us to share His love and show appreciation to one another—to even meet some of each others’ needs?  It feels so good to receive appreciation and so good to give it as well.  Appreciation even helps our brains. 

As I closed my journal, I remembered three or four special times that I had been appreciated.  The latest one was last week when a friend’s daughter thanked me for the ministry I’ve had in her mother’s life.  That brought to mind another daughter who had thanked me for giving her her mother back. Those so warmed my heart– and I truly appreciated their appreciation.

So my radio debut ended on a good note because Jesus validated and comforted my pain and healed some more wounds from the past.  And to top it off, the next morning I got an email from Dr. Wilder saying thank you for the call-in and how what I said made the Shepherd’s House phone ring off the hook, because I mentioned two things that he and the talk-show host had not been able to get to. Wow! Icing on the cake!

 If you are interested in listening to the radio show, Dr. Wilder gives an extremely clear summary of what the Life Model and the Immanuel Process (my conversation with Jesus above) are all about.  Go to this link and scroll down until you find the podcast for March 6, Hour 3.  Dr. Wilder’s name will be in the writing underneath the correct podcast.  www.kkla.com/frankpastore/podcasts

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Tactics of a Bully–Part Two

In my last blog I talked about a new book I’m working on which is getting close to being finished. We think the title will be Facing Narcissism in Ourselves and Others. I have taken one of Dr. Jim Wilder’s Munchie CDs and turned it into a book. The new book goes right along with some other blogs, including the one from November 5, 2011 titled, Tactics of a Bully, Part One.  In the book, Dr. Wilder talks about narcissists (which I have called bullies), how they operate, what causes narcissism and what to do about it. In this Part Two about bullies, or narcissists, we will look at another aspect of bullying—those who beat up on themselves.

In Part One we looked at bullies who growl or attack because they do not want us to communicate in any way that we are not glad to be with them.  We saw that even though we may give them a good shame message, these bullies will not receive it well.  Remember that a good shame message communicates something like, “What you are doing right now keeps me from being glad to be with you and because I want to be close with you, let’s find a better way to do this and work it out.”  The focus is on drawing close, but bully-narcissists do not want to hear anything about shame.

On the other side of receiving shame messages, there are people who do not growl or attack the messenger upon hearing a shame message; they attack and beat up on themselves. Dr.Wilder has a descriptive name for both kinds of bullies (narcissists) that we are looking at. He calls the growly bullies “Peacocks.”   He calls the quieter, self-attackers “Skunks.”

Peacocks usually attack anyone who gives them a shame message. Skunks on the other hand, beat up on themselves. If they get a shame message, they will turn around and say, “Oh, I stink. I’m awful. No one loves me. I’m not worthy.” They beat themselves to a pulp until the other person does the same thing he would have done with a peacock—tell them something on the order of, “Oh no,  there’s nothing wrong with you. I’m sorry I said that. I won’t say it again.”  We take back everything we said to correct them because they went around beating themselves up.  With either style of narcissist, the same goal has been accomplished— to stop the shame message of correction. Neither will tolerate shame.

As we can see from this brief paragraph taken from the new book, both kinds of people who are unable to take a good shame message are behaving as narcissists.  Neither can hear the underlying goal of drawing close. Both want the problem to go away instead of focusing on the relationship.  Neither knows how to return to joy from shame, a task we are supposed to learn around 12-18 months of age.

Mommy is not glad to be with Brenna right now.

What adult narcissist-bullies need is a new track in their brain for how to return to joy (being glad to be together). Dr. Wilder gives us one solution for restoring a narcissist:

 Narcissists are eager to keep track of all the things that will make others feel shame, because later on this might prove useful to them. They will always listen to someone else’s shame story because they are trying to find out what causes others to feel shame so they can bring it up again and use it to hurt or control. To them, having an arsenal of shame about others is very powerful ammunition. But suppose in the middle of our shame story we throw in a little nugget of how we learned from that; how we learned to be the kind of person God meant us to be. By doing that, we can provide a road back, a path back to joy in their brain, for the narcissist.

The narcissist will actually learn from listening to our story if we will share with them the shame in our life and how God brought us back to joy from that. If their narcissism is of the iniquity version (defined in the book as “things we learned to do the wrong way when young”), they learn there is a way back from shame, the place they got stuck to begin with.

In childhood, narcissists stuck in their iniquity never learned the way back to being close; they do not know there is a way back, so when we tell them the story, they follow us back. It is as if they are saying, “Oh, whoa! How did you get back there? How is it we started over here with unhappy to be with me and you got back to being glad to be together? That’s an amazing trip!”  As they follow that trip back with you, the interesting thing about the brain is that it learns there is a different way to relate. This is what is necessary for people who have been raised in iniquity.

So this is my teaser for the new book.  I will post when it’s ready.  I’ve been working almost daily on it since October.  It’s back with Dr. Wilder in written form for him to approve and fine-tune. I cannot wait to have it in my hands to underline in and give to others.

“These things have I spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”  John 15:11

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A Look at Grace

For several weeks I have been working on a new book that might not even have my name on it. I’m making a CD into a book because the CD helped me so much that I want to share it as a book. I like to underline and it’s a little difficult to underline a CD message. The CD is a Munchie by Dr. Wilder, my mentor of many years.  He’s always saying things that I have either never heard, or never thought of exactly the way he says them. I love getting my brain tickled like that as I hunger to learn and grow in my walk with Jesus. Even if I am not able to get this book edited sufficiently, it will be meaningful to me since I wrote down every word on the CD and now I’m making those transcriptions into paragraphs –again writing down almost every word.  If head knowledge were the way to go, I would be well on my way to getting all the teaching.

Grace has been a favorite topic of mine since the 1980’s when I learned the Exchanged Life. I must say that learning to walk in grace and freedom has been a great journey.  Along with learning the Exchanged Life in the 80’s, in the 90’s my journey was through the mire of co-dependency.  Along with God, Dr. Wilder was my guide through that life- sucking swamp.  When Dr. Wilder told me to go do a word study on the word “nice,” I laughed out loud. I immediately knew that word was not in the Bible.  I stopped using it and replaced it with “kind,” but until lately I have to confess I still have allowed that word too much control over my thinking.  It is the number one value in the United States and very hard to get over.

As I’ve struggled through Nice Swamp, trying to get free from the tentacles of fear that keep me from  standing up for what is right, I have often mixed up nice and grace.  From this CD I am working with, I want to share a look at grace that is beginning to slice through some of the weeds around my heart. Freedom is not freedom when I care more about what others will do or say back to me than I do to speak what God says to speak–when He says to speak.  Speaking what God wants someone to hear is not being unkind (though they may hear it that way).  We speak so they can live.

 From Dr. Wilder:

      “God is gracious, but grace does not mean overlooking that which is evil. Grace means dealing with that which is evil. It is not grace to let someone get away with evil while thinking it is good. That is not graciousness; that is foolishness.

      Graciousness is confronting a person with the evil that he or she is doing so that they may have a chance to understand what God actually wants and then repent. However because it isn’t nice, it’s confrontive and not what the person wants to hear, we tend to think that it’s not gracious. We think of gracious as just something that makes someone comfortable all the time. Grace does not always make us comfortable-grace saves our life! Grace is God giving us the things we need for life, not the things we need for comfort. This is a very important distinction.”

I love that phrase in bold: Grace does not always make us comfortable—grace saves our life!  This was the key phrase that opened my eyes to a fresh look at grace. I clearly understood grace concerning salvation. Jesus was not comfortable when He was saving our lives. But I must confess I have leaned towards ignoring things that I might need to say to someone when my motive was more from fear than from grace. I know It would take a book to explore all the facets of when to speak and when to overlook, but for now I am considering the fear that keeps us from standing up and speaking to someone who is hurting us or others. My desire is to grow in God’s inner strength that will stop my wandering in Nice Swamp when I need to be bold and brave.  I am not sure yet how it will look or how it will feel, but I do know it is hard and scary. I want to have what I need for life, Real Life, and see giving grace as something that does not always make us comfortable.  Along with musing on this look at grace, I am pursing any wounds that need healing so that fear will not keep me “nice.” Jesus in me is kind, but He is also brave.

 

 

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2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,600 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 27 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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