Helping Young Adults Evaluate Possible Mates

I was going through some old files to prepare for a workshop that is coming up and I found an old paper that I had shared a few years back at a break-out group for young people. It seemed beneficial to share it with my blog-o-sphere.  It is just a brief look at how to help young adults think about what characteristics they might want to consider in a possible marriage partner. It is by no means exhaustive, but it is thought-provoking.

By Barbara Moon

1) What should I look for in a mate? How can I evaluate their character?

It’s a given that we want to know how this person’s relationship is with God. Do they want to follow and serve Him? Do they love Him and seek to know Him better? Would we be on the same page about ministry to others? Are they teachable and willing to grow emotionally and spiritually?

Some questions to ask yourself and observe: How does this person treat waitresses/waiters? How do they treat animals? Children? Old people? Their own parents? Their siblings?
How do they act when they are driving? What are they like when they don’t get their way?
How do they manage money? How do they manage anger? Do they have addictions? What are their values about sex?

2) Decide that it is wise not to date someone I would not want to marry.

3) Before marriage, talk about how can we help each other stay sexually pure? Do we know what really satisfies?

4) What is a real man or real woman like?
Purity—indulges or practices self discipline
Pride—healthy self image or arrogant and controlling
Possessions—Stuck on what is temporal or on what is eternal
People—a real friend, kind to others, not against authority

5) Make a list of the things that you won’t budge on and the things you wouldn’t be able to stand.

6) Guys, ask yourself this question about someone you are dating—“If I meet her future husband later, will he shake my hand or hit me?”

Think about these things before your emotions get carried away. Seek God’s power to help you when it is difficult. Marriage is one of the top decisions you can make in your lifetime and these thoughts can help guide you along the way towards a good relationship with less chances of failure.

“A good name is to be more desired than great riches.” Proverbs 22:1

“He who walks in integrity walks securely”. Proverbs 10: 9


About Barbara Moon

I am an ordinary person who walks with an extraordinary God. I love to share what He has done in my life. I love to help parents with their kid questions. I love to teach little ones to swim. I love to study and learn new things and for the last ten years I have been focusing on how the brain works in connection with joyful relationships, how that affects development, maturity and trauma recovery. When not writing, my days are full of family, (especially grandchildren), mentoring, counseling, sewing, and reading.
This entry was posted in Instilling Maturity & Other Parenting Tips, Parenting, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s