When the Lights Stay Off

Some people call it the “dark night of the soul.”  My old friend, Dan Stone said it feels like God is off somewhere drinking lemonade.  Nothing feels like it used to when the lights were on.  Some days the sun is shining, but the Son is mostly quiet. Questions buzz.  Thoughts whir.  Nothing seems to work. Once in a while, the shadows fade when a little light breaks through.

“I’ve been here before,” I tell myself, “– and on the other side it is magnificent and worth the cost.”

“I know what I know,” I assure myself, “– God is here, in control and He knows what He is doing.”

“Let someone know,” I order myself, “– ask for help.  There are many who care and some who can bear to be here.  They will help you hold on to truth.”

All things work together for good, I hear Him whisper.

There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Joy.  Is it only a feeling?  No. Joy is a Person.  When is the morning?  Not until I say it’s morning. Can I make the dawn break?   No. There’s no use in trying.

I love you.  I am Immanuel and I am here. I am working in the dark. Darkness and light are alike to Me.

I am Joy and I am always glad to be with you. Cling to Me.  Don’t fret. Feel the feelings.  I am feeling all of it with you.  We are one.

I want the lights to be on, illuminating the questions, stilling the whirring. That would feel so much  better. But for now I believe the Son is shining, even in the dark.

“God can make good use of all that happens. But the loss is real.”  C. S. Lewis, Perelandra

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About Barbara Moon

I am an ordinary person who walks with an extraordinary God. I love to share what He has done in my life. I love to help parents with their kid questions. I love to teach little ones to swim. I love to study and learn new things and for the last ten years I have been focusing on how the brain works in connection with joyful relationships, how that affects development, maturity and trauma recovery. When not writing, my days are full of family, (especially grandchildren), mentoring, counseling, sewing, and reading.
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8 Responses to When the Lights Stay Off

  1. julimay says:

    So true. So true. Praying for you my friend. He is sufficient.
    Looking forward to seeing you soon.
    Love ya, Juli

  2. Deb says:

    Hi Barbara – feeling like it is impossible to keep up with all that is happening with everyone around me – little time to absorb it all or pray in the manner I would like. But am encouraged by Fenelon: “I pray that you never look for what you can get by trusting God, nor even cling to the things of this life, no matter how important they seem to you. Trust completely in God. Be as lowly and simple among the prestigious as you are alone before God. Do nothing from your natural reasoning. Look for no sense of certainty. Do not even look forward to better things. The present moment is your sole treasure for here is where the will of God is found. Do not insult today by looking for a better tomorrow! Receive everything with a lowly spirit. Let God work, and view each moment as if it were the whole sweep of eternity.” So this moment, whatever it does or does not hold, is the ‘whole sweep of eternity’ and completely encompasses that which matters the most….God. : )

  3. Rebecca says:

    Beautiful post!

  4. Debbie says:

    I love you, BOJ. Very true, very real, well written. Your clinging to Him, believing Him, realizing joy is a person Him even when it feels like he’s off drinking lemonade is faith made visible for all of us to see.

  5. David Watson says:

    Barbara, when you hurt, we hurt. It encourages us to pray for you. May God bless you and strengthen you. Looking forward to meeting you in person in March in Morton, IL.

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