Daily Parenting Tip–Two Tips for Tweens

As your child moves into middle school you may be begin to worry about the stories you’ve heard about the tween years.   You may ask yourself if it might be possible to ship them off to Grandma for a few years.  I’d like to offer a couple of tips for this age group.

No Hypocrisy

As your child grows older, they also are growing wiser—especially in recognizing when you are being hypocritical.  Having tweens is more than ever a time for honesty and humility on parents’ part.  Remember our emphasis from the very beginning of our study here that, “More is caught than taught.”  There is no place for little white lies or shrugging off responsibility.  They will notice and proceed to fault you for most any kind of dishonesty, even if they only fault you in their minds. Hypocrisy will affect your child on a deep level, even though you may never hear a word about it while they are young. Parents have to be on their knees to walk what they talk and continue modeling the outcomes they want to see in their children’s lives. Walking what you talk, having a safe place for honest, open discussions with your tween and asking forgiveness when you blow it can help everyone get through the tween years.

Respect Maturity Changes

Remember the admonition in Chapter Six about not being sarcastic and verbally hurtful?  As your child grows into a tween and then a teen, please respect the changes in their maturity, both emotionally and physically.  This is not a time for hurtful teasing or name-calling as they go through maturing.  This is a time to stop using baby names or baby talk if the child is bothered by it.  This is a time for supporting your child’s preferences and interests, even if they do not fit the dreams you had for your child. Remember that during this block of time, everything is changing both outside and inside the tween.  You will have to prayerfully choose your battles as the relationship changes from child to teen, adjusting discipline to fit the age.

Greg & Tyler (Eighth Grade)

Support, love and encouragement go a lot further in promoting a good relationship than do teasing, putdowns,  rejection and rigid rules. You will avoid many of the stereotypical negatives associated with mother/daughter and father/son problems when you respect your changing child and move more and more towards accepting them unconditionally.

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About Barbara Moon

I am an ordinary person who walks with an extraordinary God. I love to share what He has done in my life. I love to help parents with their kid questions. I love to teach little ones to swim. I love to study and learn new things and for the last ten years I have been focusing on how the brain works in connection with joyful relationships, how that affects development, maturity and trauma recovery. When not writing, my days are full of family, (especially grandchildren), mentoring, counseling, sewing, and reading.
This entry was posted in Instilling Maturity & Other Parenting Tips, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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